I was watching the latest episode of Private Practice (I think this is my second post that has been inspired by Private Practice; love that show!) where Charlotte experiences a triplet pregnancy with an amazing amount of brutal honesty. First off – Charlotte never wanted to be a Mom. The fact that she has a surprise triplet pregnancy is a huge slap in the face for her, but through her negativity and sarcasm, you can tell she loves these babies no less than the next Mom to be. As you watch her talk shit in her Lamaze class, complain incessantly and practically refuse a baby shower because she doesn’t want to be “that” woman, you can’t help but love her. It’s hysterical and totally politically incorrect.
What I’ve pulled from her character is the fact that women are afraid to be imperfect. A baby is a gift but, at least for me, being pregnant was horrible. I’d do it all over again in a heart beat for my three gorgeous children, but Lord knows, if there were another way… I’d take it!!! I had pretty “easy” pregnancies both times, even carrying twins. Easy is in quotes because carrying a child (or more) inside of you is far from easy. There’s the heart burn, the cravings, the uncontrollable emotions, morning sickness, not to mention that organs have been pushed and squished in all directions. It is so cruel to give a woman an exhausting task and then make her too uncomfortable to sleep. You’ve got everyone giving you random and usually unwanted advice and strangers asking you inappropriate questions about your sex life. In my case with the twins: “were they natural?” Yep, you want details?? Geez. People telling you that you look big or small or like you are ready to pop. You have a dream of the baby inside of you and it keeps you going, but sometimes you don’t want to be the woman in the cute maternity picture with a bow around your belly. You want to be Charlotte. You want to complain and be able to be miserable without someone looking at you like you are the devil’s spawn and trying to console you because it’s worth it at the end. That should be allowed. Creating and growing a baby is a beautiful thing, but the physics about it are all wrong. Eve really screwed us on this one.
There are a few points I’d like to conclude with:
1. If you are pregnant and aren’t pinning cute baby outfits on Pinterest because you’d rather sulk and eat cookies… Then don’t feel bad. You will be as good a Mother in real life as your Pinterest loving buddy. When you become a Mom, you will not have the time to be DIY Pinterest Goddess anyway.
2. If you interact with a pregnant woman, the best thing to say is the following (and nothing more): “You are just glowing. Can I get you anything?”
3. Remember to delight in the miracle that you are blessed to be a part of. Some women love being pregnant and would do it over and over again. I don’t think it’s because they enjoy being tortured. It’s because they feel so moved by the responsibility they’ve been given to grow this life. Let us revel in that from time to time between morning sickness and baby registries. Personally, I like them better on the outside than the inside.
Thank you Charlotte for saying everything I wanted to say when I was pregnant. Hopefully we all can feel a little bit better about not sporting our “World’s Best Mom to Be” shirts for the entire 9 months of our pregnancies. 🙂